How do you resolve problems with intimacy in marriage? How do you bring back the spark? It’s important to understand where your partner is coming from. That way you can create a shared vision with your partner because you are working toward a common goal: bringing the spark back into your marriage.
What to Do If Your Marriage Has Intimacy Problems
By Gillian Reynolds
If your marriage has intimacy problems and you and your partner don’t address it, it’s very much an elephant in the room. The issue is always there, affecting the foundation of your marriage, yet you ignore it and its consequences. If you continue to pretend as though the problem doesn’t exist, your marriage will die a very slow death and you two will most likely end up either resenting one another deeply or worse yet, you’ll be divorced.
It certainly doesn’t have to end that way. Increasing intimacy in your marriage is not only possible it’s also quite easy to do. Regardless of how long it’s been since you and your partner made love, there are steps you can take now to remedy that so you two are reconnected and stronger than ever.
Although openly discussing the issue seems logical it’s not always the best choice for dealing with a sexless marriage. The partner who has been pulling away often feels cornered in this instance and may shut down further. Instead of confronting them about why they’ve stopped being interested in sex, you just need to subtly introduce it back into the relationship.
Doing this is actually easier than you may think. What often happens in a long term relationship is outside forces pull the couple apart emotionally. They aren’t as connected as they once were because they have so much to deal with on a daily basis. Work pressures, raising the children and paying the bills all fall into the category of things that pull a couple apart.
By taking time to reconnect with each other on a basic level, you can then rediscover each other as lovers. Some ideas for making this happen are to start dating each other again. Go out and have fun the way you used to when you first met. Also, compliment each other more. You can initiate this yourself and you’ll soon see that your partner follows suit. Just tell them how much you love being married to them or how wonderful they look. They’ll pick up the clues quickly and will enjoy the flirting.
Intimacy involves so many things that go beyond the act of making love. Start reconnecting physically with your partner in small steps by reaching out to hold their hand or by giving them a massage. You don’t have to jump right back into bed before you’re both ready. Just take it slow and get to know one another intimately again. You’ll both enjoy it and crave it more and more.
Specific things you say and do can encourage natural responses within your spouse that make them crave to be intimate with you. Saying or doing the wrong thing will only worsen the problem and can lead to your partner feeling emotionally detached from you. Find out what you need to be doing to help your spouse regain their desire for you.
Most couples struggle with discussing the issue of a sexless marriage and as a result, nothing ever changes and both become more and more frustrated. Don’t waste another day wishing your intimate life was more fulfilling, change it now.
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